Real!

I have completely lost touch with nature. It’s like “still” and “real” have become foriegn, frightening concepts to me.

I’m sitting out here now.. The sun is going down.. Little birds are running around the grass looking for food.. I’m typing this now probably because I can’t just sit still and relax .. Take it all in..

I feel like I was wired a certain way and that wiring doesn’t allow me to see things the way I’d like to.. On the other hand, maybe I’ve simply burrowed away from he world, filling my mind with computers & projects & distractions for so long that I don’t even know what to do with reality. I write and talk about not missing the point of life so much.. But moments like this I feel like I’m just writing to myself.

I guess I’m a reality evangelist but I don’t yet have the ability to realize what I speak of. I’ve never seen it so clearly.. Laika, the entire film .. I wrote it for myself. Maybe I was hoping it would wake me up before I die. That’s what the whole thing was about.

It smells so real outside.. The wind is blowing