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  • David Mulhern 6:30 pm on October 31st Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment  

    A blog is an easy way to catch up on someone’s life without having to talk to them. But there are so many posts that you have to piece it all together to figure out what is really going on.

    I’ll make it easy with this… The First Annual State of the Human Address

    Sonipa
    I have lost touch with a lot of old friends. This is not because I’m married – or because I don’t like you! It’s because I’ve used almost every drop of free-time to build a company called Sonipa. Most of you may have heard me say the word “sonipa” but you may not have realized it is a real, profitable corporation.

    About six months ago, I released the first product. It is a subscription based service which creates websites instantly. Two months ago, I got enough subscribers to pay for all operating costs. People have been signing up like crazy! Finally, my two years of work (with no apparent rewards) are beginning to pay off. There have been only two cancellations (and almost no support requests) since the launch.

    This means two things: One, people like it. Two, since there are no major problems, I have my free time back!

    Various Projects
    With my free time back, I started working on various creative projects. One of these, a children’s book, I finished recently. You can read a rough version I posted earlier this month. There are many more secret projects in the works. I won’t mention them until they are complete.

    Day Job
    During the day, my title is “creative director.” What do I actually do on a day-to-day basis?
    Here’s how it works:

    1. An executive comes up with an idea for something (anything, from a cartoon to a website)

    2. I fill in any missing information and create a rough draft

    3. I assemble a team for the project and manage it to completion – quickly

    In the old days, I had to create teams of up to 12 people – these days the projects are much smaller in scale and I can keep the teams extremely small – which I like.

    Although each prototype may or may not get sold, they all get done. My day job’s greatest gift is I have been able to learn how to finish things; which is the hardest part of any project (in my opinion)

    And the building sort of looks like a spaceship.

    Jamie
    Jamie and I have been married for over five years! We have spent five years figuring out this marriage thing – and we are now closer and happier than ever before.

    Jamie and I are different in just the right ways. This creates a passionate and exciting relationship. Plus, she gets hotter every year.

    We have live in a house with a unique floorplan and foliage all around.

    Even though some people bet on us having kids within a year of our wedding, those people lost their bets. Natural family planning does work if you educate yourself and work at it, regardless of what the court of public opinion believes. And no: natural family planning has nothing to do with the rhythm method; I am not Catholic; I don’t think birth control is evil. And yes: we could have kids, we just choose not to.

    Family
    My parents moved to Colorado quite some time ago. Both of them got jobs here in Arizona right after moving so I see them every few months. My brother Thomas and his wife moved back to Canada. He is now a youth pastor for a small church. As a result, only my brother John and I remain here in the desert. But, now that both John and I are mature, intelligent adults we can actually hang out!

    Friends
    Even with all that is going on, we have managed to maintain a great group of friends who are supportive, fun and truly doing great with the life they have been given. Many of these I met through Zack, who is a cool guy who I met through Jamie. I don’t put enough time into my friendships however, and I am trying to get to a place where I can really get to know all of these wonderful people.

    So… if you thought that I’ve been sitting on my couch playing video games, dreaming of the life I would like to have – you would be wrong. I have been working my ass off to make my dreams real – and many of them are real already!

     

    • B.Willey 7:05 am on November 1st Permalink | Log in to Reply

      You are a great guy and I’m glad that FolioNow has become what you have worked for and hoped it would be. I can’t wait for your children’s book to come out so A and I can read it to Colin.

    • David Mulhern 9:22 am on November 1st Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Thanks Brandon – That really means a lot to me. And you guys are in the friends collage!

    • Sean Holcombe 10:08 am on November 1st Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Awesome concept sir. I love the state of the human. Mind if I shamelessly rip it off for my ramblings on the web?

      Cheers,
      Sean

    • David Mulhern 10:10 am on November 1st Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Of course Sean! haha – I’d like to read it.

    • David M 4:25 pm on November 1st Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I hope my friend mark mccowen does one too!

    • John 12:38 am on November 2nd Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I’m glad we are mature adults now and that can hang out unlike when we were younger and you would punch me in the stomach resulting in me blacking out.

    • David Mulhern 11:39 am on November 2nd Permalink | Log in to Reply

      John that never happened. I do remember Thomas almost dropping the chair on me which would have killed me.

      Hey this post could be my Christmas card this year – I’ll make sure to include the comments

    • mona mccowen 10:10 pm on November 3rd Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Hey, since I am one of the “Lost Ones,” I found this to be very informative. I will be sure to let Mark know that you think he may (also) not have been sitting on the couch playing video games. He’ll be, dare I say, flattered.

    • Debra 9:15 am on November 7th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Great update, David. We always wonder what’s going on with our AZ friends! You could do a state of the human address every couple of months!!!! ;o)

    • Mark McCowen 2:06 am on November 12th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Sounds like things are really taking off for you and Jamie. I plan to create my own State of the Human Address. I just need to figure out what to say.

    • Zack 11:40 pm on November 19th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Yo – David…..you are a crazy and busy man. Keeping thinking of all those things the rest of us used to dream about, but forgot how to. And please travel forward in time and see if I am bald in the future? That way I can start taking precautions now.

  • David Mulhern 7:28 pm on October 25th Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment  

    Have you ever laid there and thought about what your three wishes would be? Have you imagined the possible outcomes of each idea? Imagined the consequences as you form the perfect three wishes.

    Each wish would have to be leprechaun proof. You wouldn’t wish for all the money in the world because a leprechaun would physically dump all the money in the world on top of you. Rather, you would wish for a debit card with an unlimited balance.

    Each wish would have to be scalable. Wishing for a magic search engine, for example, would allow you to find the answers to questions that have never been answered. Why ask for a search engine? Why not just ask to know everything?

    One word: leprechauns. If you wished to know “everything” you would instantly die. Watch out for their tricks.

    Have an Out. For example, if you wish to live forever, add that the wish can be canceled if you stand at the top of a volcano and yell out “CANCEL THIS WISHY WISH!” seven times. The Out should be difficult enough that you would really have be serious before it becomes active.

    So that brings us to what I just saw.

    I saw a vision of the terrifying reality of the “Spaz-Wish.” A Spaz-Wish is a non-wish outburst interpreted as a proper wish. It could be a joke, a test, or a question. Maybe even a movie quote.

    Regardless of the reason, the Spaz-Wish is quite possibly one of the most terrifying unexplored topics I can think of.

    You can find stories that tell of wishes gone bad or crafty leprechauns playing tricks on their mark. But you just don’t see stories about the Spaz-Wish. You never see someone blurt out something they don’t mean and live with the possible results.

    Here are some example Spaz-Wishes I wrote down during my daily Spaz-Wish-Brainstorming session.

    I wish nothing existed. I wish nobody had a heart. I wish peanuts were seven thousand times larger. I wish the ocean was filled with billions of dolphins. I wish everyone had a chicken egg as a foot. I wish we could see out of our nipples.

    Imagine the outcome of each wish. And for some, there wouldn’t be time to say “Just kidding! That’s not a wish!”

    The most dangerous way to ask for a Spaz-Wish is to end it with “no take backs.”

    Once you’ve done that, you’ve doomed us all.

     

    • brenda 9:58 pm on October 30th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I always used to wish for a McDonald’s french fry that was as tall as my house and as big as my street.

    • David Mulhern 8:37 pm on October 31st Permalink | Log in to Reply

      That’s really weird brenda

    • craig 10:27 pm on October 31st Permalink | Log in to Reply

      when i was in kindergarten i used to get in trouble alot (i actually got spanked at school a couple times) and i’d have to stand with my nose in the corner pretty often. i remember wishing on several occasions that tiny versions of spider-man and his amazing friends would show up in my hands. well, they never did, but i would always imagine that they did and i’d play with them while all the other loser kids were learning about shapes and letters.

    • David Mulhern 12:24 pm on November 1st Permalink | Log in to Reply

      The spider man thing could be dangerous – he may literally appear “in” your hands which would be painful and strange.

  • David Mulhern 1:46 am on October 19th Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment  

    My watch got me thinking about a better way to make the Sonipa line of clocks I’ve been working on. Using thin lit panels cut to a specific size (which would have two settings – on and off) mixed with a simple circular frame a tiny bit of logic to cycle the panels it would be possible – and it would ship successfully – which is the problem I have with the crystal versions of my clocks (link, link, link)

    The outer ring indicates the completion of your current day (hours) – note the entire day is on the clock (which makes much more sense then the traditional “half-day” clocks most people have)

    The middle ring is the completion of your current hour.

    The inside ring is the completion of your current minute.

    And the best part? To set the time, push the button in the middle. The “day ring” begins to blink. Turn the knob to the correct hour then push again. The minutes blinks, turn the knob. Push again to edit seconds. That’s it! No other settings needed!

    One button.
    Inexpensive parts.
    Ships well.
    Looks cool.
    Better way of telling time I dare say!
    What what!
    Harumph.

     

    • craig 11:24 am on October 19th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      i’ll take two!

    • David Mulhern 11:52 am on October 19th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Which colors would you like kind sir?

    • David Allen 8:22 pm on October 20th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      This looks a lot like red time.

    • David Mulhern 10:49 pm on October 20th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Yeah man! I’m bringing red-time to the masses (some day)

    • craig 3:39 am on October 21st Permalink | Log in to Reply

      i would like one red and one blue! would’ve gone with orange but seems too halloweeny maybe.

    • Dad & Mom 10:26 am on October 22nd Permalink | Log in to Reply

      version 2 – same unit broken into 100 units! Red Time is here to stay!

    • George 2:21 am on October 29th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Clocks are like little prophets. If they are properly callibrated, they tell you truth. If you alter their message, you don’t alter the truth, but merely your perception of the truth. And thats only if you forgot that you tampered with it. And others can refute your self delusion with their properly calibrated little prophet. I like clocks because it is their nature to speak truth. And your clocks are sweet, so that helps, too.

    • Bam 10:00 pm on November 22nd Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Whew… that’s cooler than the other side of the pillow. I’m listening to my “half-day” clock TICK-TOCKING in the background, and I think it has given me Tourette’s. Oh– no, nevermind… it’s just making me swear because it’s so *#&^)!! annoying.

      If this clock doesn’t tick, sign me up. ;-)

  • David Mulhern 1:53 pm on October 18th Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment  

    I saw a commercial which told me I can write anything I want on M&Ms. I went to the website and they have a little tool which lets you type in a message on an M&M, preview it, then buy the candies.

    You can have a maximum of two short messages. You can:

     

    • Sean Holcombe 2:14 pm on October 18th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Interesting, I wonder if corporate would allow people to print such slogans and then have them associated with their special little candies?
      Yum. I need chocolate and sarcasm.

  • David Mulhern 1:56 am on October 18th Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment  

    Director of: Armageddon, Bad Boys, Transformers and now: 2012. Here’s the description: “Story follows an academic researcher who opens a portal into a parallel universe and makes contact with his double in order to stop an apocalypse foreseen by the ancient Mayans.” haha. A few people who know me know how this is funny.

     

  • David Mulhern 9:33 pm on October 16th Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment  

    First off, I really like the show “Cavemen” – a lot. It’s like it’s the best show I’ve ever seen – but I know that just isn’t possible.

    In fact I’ve never even met anyone who likes it.
    Nobody likes it. Well, I do.

    Jamie asks, “would it still be funny if they aren’t cavemen?” and the answer is probably not.

    Next, I must say that I hate in movies when everything is going great then suddenly the happy people get hit with a car from out of nowhere. In “Adaptation” when they’re backing up he says to his wife, “We’re finally out of debt and everything is going great.” then they get hit by a car and their life just gets destroyed. She uses the accident as an excuse to leave him.

    Or that Brad Pitt movie where he is walking across the street after that girl then he gets hit by a huge truck or bus – or those volkswagen commercials.

    It makes me associate peaceful times and happy times with an inevitable truck smashing into the scene out of nowhere.

    Sometimes when I daydream they are great and then they end with a huge truck smashing into the windshield.

    Freakin’ ruined my daydreams even…

    That’s all the thoughts for now.

     

    • craig 12:33 am on October 17th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      i watched that caveman show because you reccomended it so highly and i thought it was funny! i don’t know if its a fair question to ask if it would still be funny if they weren’t cavemen … i mean, the name of the show is cavemen … thats sorta why its supposed to be funny. i still like the office better though.
      and i love those scenes in movies with car crashes. when i got in my accident it was exactly like those scenes.
      although i’m not a fan of car crash dreams. {=o(

    • steph 6:13 pm on October 17th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      haven’t watched the caveman show yet, but i totally cracked up (in the theatre) when brad pitt got hit by that car in meet joe black. i just couldn’t help it, the scene was hilarious.

    • David Mulhern 1:57 pm on October 18th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Well I’m glad some other people like the caveman show.

    • jamie 7:56 am on October 29th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      I don’t think it is a fair question. I still think the writing is bad though.

    • Dan 1:50 pm on January 21st Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Seeing Brad Pitt getting creamed by two vehicles was the only thing worthwhile in Meet Joe Black.

      Sadly, it was in the first ten minutes.

      The movie was three hours long.

      On the subject of dreams, I really don’t have car accident dreams, but I do have dreams in which I’m hit by cars.

  • David Mulhern 10:23 pm on October 15th Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment  

    (More …)

     

  • David Mulhern 4:22 pm on October 15th Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment  

    What does a scanner see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me, into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly, because I can’t any longer see into myself. I see only murk. I hope for everyone’s sake the scanners do better. Because if the scanner sees only darkly, the way I do, then I’m cursed and cursed again. I’ll only wind up dead this way, knowing very little, and getting that little fragment wrong too.

    If you don’t like reading, check out the movie.

     

  • David Mulhern 11:22 am on October 15th Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment  

    My old boss said that you can tell everything about a guy by his watch. Of course, he owned a Rolex. I think that might be something people who own a Rolex say.

    I just got a watch today – I hope his theory is right.

    (More …)

     

    • tanner and emily 11:54 am on October 15th Permalink | Log in to Reply

      Like your watch…what can you say about me if I wear a solar powered casio watch? I’m “green”….that might be a stretch!

      I’d say you would be a super hero…with that watch!

  • David Mulhern 5:02 am on October 15th Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment  

    It just doesn’t makes sense. This sign here:

    On the other side it reads “Crime doesn’t pay” – but you don’t see that until you leave. So when you walk in you see this weird yoda-ish “Reporting It Does” saying that makes no sense.

    I tried to talk to the guy behind the counter about it but he didn’t want to talk to me.

     

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